The week I become a mummy. (I mean really as if I am actually saying it)
Well so it begins, sat in the reception of day assessment unit again , ready for a week of scans, steroid shots, pre op clinic then the day of reckoning …. C Section Wednesday. Wednesday’s are often referred to as hump day, well, this week it certainly is hump day for us. The day they slice hump open to reveal our baby girl. Quite a graphic vision I know.
So here’s the list of current things running around my mind:
– Do I need to repack my two hospital bags (one for me one for baby) ? Or is repacking for the fifth time excessive ? (Think I’ve answered my own question)
– Have we got enough car parking change… Yes the NHS charge us for the privilege of having a car parked whilst giving birth at something like a fiver an hour … Extortion!
– What if baby doesn’t cry ?
– Is there something wrong with baby?! What aren’t they telling me ?
– What if the drugs don’t work? What if they work too much, will baby be drugged up ? am I going to freak out being paralysed temporarily!’what if they paralyse me for life? (Ridiculous I know, but is crossed my mind)
– Will my colon behave with chosen pain relief? Have my IBD team sorted out my infusion ? What if I get sick, just my luck.
– Have I packed enough pants ?
– I wonder what the food is like in this place ? (Very important subject)
– Please don’t make me sleep next to a nightmare family for 5 days. Give me nice people, I need my sleep. I don’t miss ward politics.
– I hope they don’t take her away from me. 😦
– What if we think she is ugly? Can we get a refund (jokes) …
And so on. This list is by no means exhaustive … But all these thoughts are most definitely exhausting! This is the problem with a planned procedure … It’s gives you time to think. dangerous!
So I have been in the hospital two and a half hours now. This mornings scan was vile, I thought something was wrong with baby as the midwife was slow, struggling for conversation and seemingly to get the right pictures which always leaves me uneasy. She told me that she needed to get my scan pictures ‘checked’ … This sent me into a whirlwind panic whilst she left me in that room. What the hell does she need them checked for?!
Turns out she hasn’t scanned babies for a while and is back in re training … This might explain the nervous uneasiness I experienced rather than anything wrong … Nevertheless she got my heart rate going just a tad.
Scan shows baby is estimated around 4lb12oz today so she has done a little bit more growing for her arrival which is good. (They say the room for error is about 20% either way, so who knows). Those legs are still tiny though so looks like we need to put her in compost for a couple of days to see if she will sprout.
I have baby movement paranoia, some days I feel her, some days I struggle, yesterday was a struggle so I’ve just spent half hour on the monitor which was fun but feel a bit better now knowing that little heart is going ten to the dozen. I’m sure this is very common with all mummy’s. Sometimes I think I try to hard to feel her.
….. then the real highlight of my Monday lunchtime came in the form of a great big steroid shot in my leg. MY GOD. I thought I was hard, years of colonoscopies , enemas, tummy pain and needles did not prepare me for THAT. My leg is still numb. Bloody steroids … never mind baby’s lungs … What about me… If I wasn’t going to grow a beard before I know I’m on for one now judging by the dose and the sting ! Nothing like steroidal facial hair to make you feel sexy … Hurrah ! But at least this gives baby a fighting chance of strong lungs Wednesday 🙂 I’ll take the pain and the beard.
This is my ouch that hurt face …
So now I’m waiting for pre op clinic which means I’ll probably be here till rush hour traffic starts but it’s the final hurdle, not that I will be doing any type of hurdling with a numb leg. A lovely lady called Janet has just whisked me away to ask for my consent to take the cord blood away for research post procedure on Wednesday. She is like some sort of hospital vampire, after blood from unknowing suspects. (Janet isn’t the greatest name for a vampire).
Slight anti climax I must admit as when my name was called I thought this is unusual, I’m first in the queue. Clearly not, they just want my bodily fluids, which in my world is a novelty as most of the time I’m in the reject pile for donation as I’m too sick and too pumped with medicine! Anyhow, I’m all for research, let’s face it today’s medicine is based on yesterday’s donations so it would be pretty selfish to not do something with it other than head straight for clinical waste or included in recipes out of the placenta cookbook! It’s good to give back, so I am, bye placenta and cord blood you’re booked in to be analysed rather than cooked with a side of greens or whipped up in a milkshake … Blurgh ! (Fair play if this is your kind of thing)
So, I guess this is my final blog entry before lady arrives …(we hope she is a lady) Then it will be back to my usual hospital blogging , high on drugs, middle of the night, when my writing is at its most creative !
See you on the other side . Hopefully a little bit lighter and a lot happier with baby by my side 🙂